


pantomime

by nxpenthe



Series: jigsaws, love letters [6]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, adventures of hoe!chuu, this is a whole lesbian mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-24
Updated: 2019-06-24
Packaged: 2020-05-18 16:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19338142
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nxpenthe/pseuds/nxpenthe
Summary: there's not much jiwoo can't do when it comes to women.she knows how to please, she knows what she likes, and she especially knows how to pull them in.(it's just too bad she'll never get the attention of someone particular)





	pantomime

**Author's Note:**

> requested by gaywrongs.  
> as per usual, angsty. ish.
> 
> stream katchup by dalsooobin

“You’re cute,” Jiwoo says, the corner of her lips curling upwards as her eyes followed suit.  
  


The girl, shy and a little awkward, slides back and forth, rolling from her heel to the balls of her feet nervously. She’s tall, blond hair tumbling past her shoulders in waves. 

  
Very cute.

  
“Oh, uh, thanks.” The blond smiles back cheerily at her, lifting a red solo cup filled halfway with a mixture of fruity soju and sprite. “You are too.”

  
The statement lilts upwards, a question more so than a compliment. Jiwoo chuckles. Her hand flutters lightly against the girl’s exposed shoulder, fingernails grazing the skin beneath.

  
“Name?” She lifts her own cup of soju, bouncing it off the other’s. “I’m Jiwoo.”

  
“Jinsol.”

  
“Pretty,” Jiwoo smiles, the compliments rolling much too easily from her tongue. Alcohol loosens her lips, but the Jinsol’s attractive face makes it easier than it should be. “You alone?”

  
“Uh, no,” Jinsol’s eyes dart nervously around the crowded party, “Came here with a couple of friends, but I think they ditched me.”

  
“Perfect,” Jiwoo places her cup down, fingers already sliding around Jinsol’s slender wrist to pull her gently next to her. Jinsol looks flustered, face tinged red – was it the lights? Maybe it was the alcohol, or the sweaty room of dancing people? Or maybe it was Jiwoo smiling prettily up at her?

  
(Does it even matter?)

  
The next steps come easily. In a matter of minutes, Jinsol has her pressed against a wall (but only because Jiwoo lets her). They kiss, tongue sliding past barely open lips, teeth biting down until a gasp escapes. There is no moment of sweet seduction as Jiwoo pulls them into a taxi parked nearby, only desperate hands touching what they can until they’re kicked out into the streets by the disgruntled driver.

  
Jinsol almost looks apologetic.

_  
Almost _ .

  
“What about your roommate?” Jinsol asks, gazing at another pair of shoes that litter the entryway to her small flat.

  
Jiwoo shrugs. Her thumbs hook their way into Jinsol’s jeans, pulling on the belt loops until she can feel the curves of the girl press into her. Jinsol tumbles forward, drunken feet clumsily tripping over themselves as Jiwoo catches her in another bruising kiss.

  
Everything about Jinsol had screamed virgin – her own eagerness in kissing, the way she bites down without noticing Jiwoo’s hiss of pain, or how her hands are clammy and awkward, as though unsure of where to go on Jiwoo’s body – so Jiwoo was prepared to take on all the work to get them over the edge tonight.

  
Imagine her surprise when Jinsol ends up being the one to push her down in bed as soon as the door clicks shut, gaze turning predatory as suddenly deft fingers unbutton her shirt in a matter of seconds.

  
“Oh,” Jiwoo sighs, hands already tangled into blond locks. Jinsol’s mouth curls into a smile against the skin of her neck.

  
Jiwoo’s not quite sure what she’s supposed to feel, but when Jinsol’s fingernails make their way down her belly to her thigh, she’s sure she sees drunken stars dance across the white ceiling above.

  
\--

  
“You’re loud,” Jungeun comments from the small table they have shoved into the wall of the kitchen, coffee cup in hand.

  
Jiwoo tiptoes to press a light kiss against Jinsol’s flushed cheeks, waving a goodbye before unceremoniously shoving the blond out the front door.

  
Neither promise to call.

  
“And you’re a pervert for listening in,” Jiwoo chuckles, taking her usual seat across from Jungeun. The latter pushes forward a steaming cup of tea – Jiwoo doesn’t like black tea, but unfortunately that’s all they have in the cabinets, and she doesn’t indulge in morning coffee like Jungeun does. A slice of toast with strawberry jam spread on top is quick to follow the steaming cup.

  
“Hard to ignore when you’re right next door,” Jungeun says, rolling her eyes for exaggeration.

  
Jiwoo shoves her lightly with her foot, “Like I haven’t heard you scream before. Trust me, I think I almost went deaf that one night, trying to drown you out.”

  
“Shut up.”

  
“Though I’m pretty good, you know,” she wiggles her eyebrows, lips curled into a teasing smirk. “If you ever want to try it out.”

  
Jungeun shoots back a playful glare, “Shut up and eat.”

  
\--

_  
Sooyoung’s coming over tonight. _

  
Jiwoo frowns at the text. Jungeun had promised to cook together tonight (they’ve been living on takeout for at least a solid week now), but it seems her best friend had forgotten about the throwaway promise in favor of her girlfriend.

  
Her fingers hover over the keyboard. She wants to type a quick “ _ okay _ ,” or some sort of noncommittal “ _ cool _ .”

  
Instead, she dials a number she exchanged at some party or another. 

  
“ _ Hello?” _

  
“Hey,” Jiwoo says, ignoring the way her voice sounds infinitely happier than the frown on her lips, “Are you free tonight?”

  
\--

  
Haseul is sweet. Jiwoo almost swoons at how she asks for permission before looping a toned arm around Jiwoo’s waist or how her sharp eyes soften just before she leans in for a kiss. They share a few drinks at dinner, and once they step outside to night sky and chilly winds, Haseul offers her black leather jacket to Jiwoo’s shivering form.

  
It smells nice.

  
(What Haseul doesn’t need to know is that Jiwoo forgot her jacket on purpose.)

  
“It’s still cold,” She says offhandedly, burrowing her way deeper into the jacket.

  
Haseul quirks a brow, “Yeah?”

  
A hand makes its way around Jiwoo’s waist again, pulling her flush to Haseul’s side. Haseul gives her an easy smile. She leans forward, waiting midway.

  
Jiwoo doesn’t hesitate to close the gap.

  
They don’t make it past the living room in Haseul’s small apartment before strong hands lift her on top of the table, skirt pulled off and thrown to the side of the room.

  
\--

  
It’s almost noon when Jiwoo returns to her flat with at least three new hickeys decorating her skin.

  
“Oh hey, you’re back.”

  
Sooyoung waves at her lazily from the couch, long brown hair still tousled from last night.

  
(Jiwoo tries not to dwell on the details.)

  
She’s in one of Jungeun’s hoodies, the one Jiwoo gave Jungeun last Christmas. She bites down on her tongue, ignoring the way disappointment wrings the air from her lungs.

  
“Hey,” she says back lamely, kicking off heels. “Where’s Jungie?”

  
“Shower,” Sooyoung pats the seat next to her, inviting her to sit. “Heard you’ve only eaten jam and toast for the last three days. You should take care of yourself better, Jiwooming.”

  
“Can’t cook so, what can I do?” Jiwoo shakes her head, cringing at the use of her nickname. She’s too tired to deal with Sooyoung alone, nevermind Jungeun’s inexorable scolding that’s bound to happen as soon as she steps out of the shower. “Sorry, tell Jungeun I’m going to take a nap. I’m still tired.”

  
Jiwoo makes a beeline for her room, trying to ignore the way Sooyoung’s eyes follow her the entire way.

  
\--

  
Sooyoung had made herself a constant in an ironic way.

  
They had met through a drunken exchange almost a year ago.

  
Jiwoo had been the one to bring her over first from a bar nearby, tipsy. Jungeun hadn’t even bothered introducing herself before giving some excuse, quickly excusing herself to her room before allowing the two to continue uninterrupted to Jiwoo’s room.

  
Jiwoo had frowned, knocking once on Jungeun’s door to mumble a drunken apology before stumbling back into Sooyoung’s embrace.

  
They continued hooking up almost a month after the initial – it’s longer than anything Jiwoo’s had before. Sooyoung is pretty, gentle as she is aggressive, and absolutely doting. They even cuddled a few times afterwards and Sooyoung (admittedly) makes a damn good big spoon.

  
She tried to like her. She really fucking tried. But it was hard considering every single time they kissed, she imagined what it would be like if Jungeun was holding her instead, holding her just as lovingly as Sooyoung. Of what it would feel like if it were Jungeun whispering quiet confessions of love instead of Sooyoung's adoring eyes peering sadly at her.

  
It wasn’t long until Sooyoung discovers her crush on her best friend. Jiwoo’s not quite sure when Sooyoung noticed though – or how.

  
(Maybe it’s because she had moaned Jungeun’s name while Sooyoung’s fingers were inside of her.)

_  
“You like her.” _

_  
“Yeah.” _

  
Sooyoung hummed. _ “So, I shouldn’t expect a call after this?” _

  
It’s said teasingly, but Jiwoo still flinched.

_  
“Sorry.” _

_  
“It’s fine,”  _ Sooyoung shrugged. _ “I brought it up after all. Should I go?” _

  
Jiwoo clung on to Sooyoung’s shirt, holding her back.

_  
“No. Stay the night.” _

  
If she hadn’t ignored the hurt in Sooyoung’s eyes then, perhaps she wouldn’t have had to feel the same pain when a month later Sooyoung returns, this time in Jungeun’s arms.

  
\--

  
Jiwoo wakes up from her nap just in time to see Sooyoung leave.

  
She kisses the top of Jungeun’s head while locking eyes with Jiwoo. (Jungeun smacks the older woman softly in embarrassment, blissfully unaware of the exchange happening right above her. Jiwoo pointedly looks at her phone, opting to text Haseul a thank you for last night’s dinner.)

  
“Bye to you too, Jiwoo,” Sooyoung waves, smile friendly though it fails to reach her eyes. The door closes before Jiwoo can respond.

  
Jungeun locks the door before her before turning on her heels, facing Jiwoo with furrowed brows. Jiwoo knows what’s going to happen next and plops herself onto the couch. If she’s getting yelled at, might as well be comfortable.

  
“You should have called,” Jungeun scolds her as expected, taking the opposite end of the cushion, toes jabbing against Jiwoo’s calf. “Or at least sent a text! I was worried.”

  
Jiwoo pouts, cheeks puffed in protest. “I didn’t want to bother you when you’re with Sooyoung.”

  
“You can bother me anytime you want, Sooyoung or not.”

  
“Sure.”

  
“I’m serious, Jiwoo,” Jungeun sighs, “You’re important to me. We’re best friends. Not to mention, who’ll pay the rent if you wind up dead somewhere because you ended up hooking up with a serial killer?”

  
“Gee, thanks. Good to know I’m only worth half the rent,” Jiwoo chuckles forcibly. “I’m fine. Seriously. I’ll call next time, sorry.”

  
“Good.” The frown on Jungeun’s face finally relaxes to a smile, and though Jiwoo knows Jungeun’s not quite pleased with the answer, she lets it go. “I wish you would find someone nice.”

  
The air in her throat suddenly sticks as the muscles constrict. She can’t breathe.

  
“You deserve to be happy too. Remember to introduce me to someone, I have to approve of them first.”

_  
I want you _ . The words claw from inside Jiwoo's chest.

  
Instead a winded “Yeah” leaves her lips.

  
\--

  
Jungeun drags her to a party that weekend. Sooyoung greets them at the door, immediately pulling Jungeun into a kiss all while pointedly ignoring Jiwoo. She darts past them, headed straight for the alcohol.  


  
(She tries not to mind them, but it's hard whenever she walks past, trying to squeeze through crowded hallways, Sooyoung's soft hands manage to graze against her skin.)

  
An hour passes – or maybe two – and now Sooyoung and Jungeun are in the middle of the dance floor amidst a crowd of bodies. They’re intoxicated (and so is Jiwoo, nursing her fifth cup of whatever Hyunjin decided to pour her), eagerly grinding against each other in a way that’s more erotic than sensual. 

  
It feels like a directed attack.

  
Jiwoo had attempted to use her phone as a distraction, but it soon ends up dead on the table besides her, batteries depleted.

  
At least the alcohol helps numb the pain in her chest.

  
“Are you okay?”

  
A soft voice somehow cuts through the noise of the party. Jiwoo glances at her left, locking eyes with the pretty round eyes of a girl.

  
“I’m fine.”

  
Jungeun laughs loudly from the center of the room. Jiwoo whips her head to the scene, watching as Sooyoung dips Jungeun in a move definitely copied from a cheesy nineties romance film.

  
The empty red solo cup in her hand crumples in her tightened grip.

  
“Sure, you are,” gentle fingers ease the crushed cup from her hands, slender fingers replacing the plastic. “You’ve been glaring at them for a long time now.”

  
“It’s nothing.” Jiwoo frowns despite herself. The girl moves closer, shoulder nudging  Jiwoo’s. Her pink hair falls nicely around a shoulder-less top. Jiwoo doesn’t bother hiding how her eyes trail lower, resting for a moment on her collarbone before snapping back to the girl’s face.

  
She’s pretty.

  
(But that’s a given.)

  
“I’m Kahei. Or Vivi, whichever you prefer.”

  
“Jiwoo, nice to meet you,” she beams, though it falters visibly when Jungeun’s ringing laughter fills the air once again.

  
Kahei says nothing. Instead, she loops an arm around Jiwoo’s own, elbows locked together. “Do you want to go elsewhere?”

  
Jiwoo watches as Jungeun kisses Sooyoung.

  
Her heart stops.

  
Kahei continues her steady gaze, the concern from earlier fading to understanding. A gentle hand rubs comforting circles against the small of her back, her fingernails digging at the fabric in a silent promise of something more if Jiwoo were to follow.

  
(Sooyoung says something loudly, the words are too garbled to understand clearly. Jungeun giggles again in response, the sound clamping down on Jiwoo’s battered heart.)

  
Picking up a filled shot glass, Jiwoo slams it down her throat, taking pleasure in the burn that fills her throat and chest before slamming the glass down. She throws an arm around Kahei’s shoulders, nose pressed against her cheek.

  
At least she’d have some company tonight.

  
“Let’s go.”

  
She leaves her phone behind on the table.

**Author's Note:**

> o0ps! i wanted this to be kinda crackish and fun but angst happened instead!
> 
> written at 4/5am with a lot of beyonce (lemonade album, specifically)


End file.
